hey guys, been awhile since ive blogged.. im in need of advice. its not super personal, but ive only told a few people.. because it really doesnt make any sense at all, and ive never been able to truly explain it.. or found ANYONE who can relate to it.

all i know is that i remember this happening in my early teen years.

seriously if anyone knows what the hell this may be or whatever.. im open to hearing ANYTHING...

alright so,

when i meet a guy that i may end up liking. everything is fine at first.. but when i start to have some sort of feelings for them.. over a night.. something changes. all of sudden, i cant look at their pictures anymore. i know, sounds pretty fucking stupid. before i can look at any of their pictures without literally freaking out... but as soon as i like them.. it changes.

it hasnt been a real issue so far.. but i think its just going to become an issue for future relationships. its stupid, and i wish it could go away. but right now.. the guy that i do have feelings for atm (ex bf, dont ask lol).. i cant look at his pictures.. and if someone were just to surprise me with his picture.. ive automatically freak out (panic, and my breathing would be a bit fast) and cover my eyes.. these people arent ugly or anything.. i cant explain it... at all..

i dont know what the fuck im afraid of. oh, yeah also i cant take pictures with whoever this happens with. i mean, well i can.. but i cant look at it after. i will fucking freak.

i think this is a huge issue because this really sets me back from being myself with someone who i like.

its one thing if youre scared to look at someone because they did something to you in the past or something but this really isnt it...

i hate myself for this, i find it really embarasing and stupid. and i havent been able to do anything about it. :(

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Posted at 07/11/2009 07:34 AM

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iRUiiNER said at 07/12/2009 01:18 AM

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Hmmm, that's odd.
Everyone's afriad of something though.
I mean look at this..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ta-FGE7QELQ

Phorexia said at 07/11/2009 04:39 PM

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reaction_formation

Off the top of my head, it could be somewhat related to that. I dunno really though.

Shouldn't be embarrassed, or feel stupid for asking for peoples opinions on a problem.

Shani85 said at 07/11/2009 09:55 AM

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Awww, hun, I've kinda done something similar. I used to be a real commitment pheob...phoeb..phobe...I don't know how to spell that one :p ha!
Anyways, I would be fine dating for a day or so, then get really antsy and panicked. There was no reason for it aside from myself. The guy didn't change, I just started freaking out. It was like that for about 4-5 boyfriends. Eventually though, you meet someone who doesn't let that happen and you end up not feeling that way. At least, that is what happened to me. Once you are with someone you feel totally comfortable with through and through, the feelings kinda just go away.
Don't hate yourself though, like you said, for feeling how you do. Can't help it, it's just who you are :) So long as you can look at them face to face, don't worry about the pics.

Zamees said at 07/11/2009 08:17 AM

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This reminds me of South Park

splashley said at 07/11/2009 08:40 AM

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How Zamees lol

xixfancytoadxix said at 07/11/2009 07:44 AM

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I have never heard of this before but all i can say is ya gotta face ur fears...if i were u i would get a bunch of pics of the x's and sit there and look at them ..i know this is gonna sound crazy but maybe when u were younger someone told u that when a picture is snapped its almost like that person time was caught in the picture..i know i know it sounds crazy but back in the day people use to come up with all kinds of crazy things to say...i wouldnt worry to much about it sweety..its only pictures..jump on them rip them do whatever u need to do to get over ur fear so ur not freakin out..and dont feel embarassed about it..we all got something we fear or freak out about..

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