jinxdbilly4life's Blogs

Ok, for some of you on GTP who know a little about how my life has been the past year, here's a update for you. Well, First a little background. My marriage has been on the ups and downs for 11 months now.

My wife left in July 07, came back, left, came back, and finally left in Sept. Then Jan 08, she decided to come back. I thought things were going good since then. Now fast foward to Tuesday night, she tells me she wants to talk after the kids go to bed. Three hours of torture of waiting for what she wants to talk about. The only hint is what she has to say is going to hurt me. By that time I can't eat dinner and my nerves have me on the edge.  I keep thinking to myself it's bad, she wants to end the marriage.

So, the kids go to bed. Here's how our talk went. She tells me that we are two completely different people now, that she has changed who she is and what she wants out of life. I am thinking that's just great, not. The best thing for us to do is end the marriage and she wants me out of the apartment. She is not happpy despite how much I tried, it is just wasn't enough for her. I just don't understand anymore. I did everything I could.  She knows I have no where to go. The only place is my parent. I am 35, I don't want to go back but I am going to have to. I make decent money, but around here rent is so expensive. It takes two incomes to make it nowadays. I really have no friends so that rules out a room-mate. Plus with kids, I would not trust a stranger.

So since that talk. I called out of work Wednesday beacause I did not sleep in wink Tuesday night. That was great just started that job Monday. The only positive about that was since I only transferred from another job in the company I have vacation, so my new boss was more understanding than my last one. I am off today and Monday (vacation that was scheduled months ago), so I have a four day weekend to pull myself together the best I can. My parents are letting me move back in on the weekend of the 27th, so I have three more weeks of living with my wife. Wonder how many times we are going to get on each others nerves until I am gone. I asked that we try our best for the kids sake.  We have alot of things to discuss before I leave, about the kids and belongings.

Right now I feel like my life has been yanked apart. This is the third time she has basically destroyed my heart. When I leave I am not coming back, no matter what my feelings for her. I just can't go through it again. I still love her so much. 

I know this might not be the place to discuss this, but I needed to vent and most of you on this site are pretty cool. Some of you might even have been through this too. Well everyone have a good day. Going do a couple things around the house and then play some COD4.

Later
Jinx.

Posted at 06/06/2008 05:42 AM

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