The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis. Luckily for us, a chart exists where we can see just how out of balance the ratio between your hotness and craziness has become - knowledge that can prove to be invaluable over the course of your daily life.

The Bro Code Article # 1

Thou shalt not sleep with your Bro's Ex-Girlfriend.

The Bro Code Article # 87

A Bro shalt at all times say Yes.

IE: "Well, I did save him and his dog from a burning building in 2005 we are so lucky to make it out alive" - Bro # 1

"Is this true!?" - Girl with daddy issues

"Yes" - Bro # 2

The Bro Code Article # 89

Mom of a Bro is always off limits, but a Stepmom is fair game if she initiates it or is wearing at least one piece of leopard print.

The Bro Code Article # 34

Thou shalt not make make eye contact during a Devil’s Three-way

The Bro Code Article # 53

A Bro shall, whenever possible, provide his Bro with protection.

The Bro Code Article # 68

If a Bro is on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possibly to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or temporarily immigrating to a foreign country.

The Bro Code Article # 67

Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

The Bro Code Article # 66

If a Bro suffers pain from a permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a “that sucks, man” and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

The Bro Code Article # 63

In a scenario in which two or more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity, including but not limited to; the high five, the first bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

The Bro Code Article # 62

In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet broshambo shall determine the outcome.

The Bro Code Article # 60

Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girl’s wildly unattractive cousin / friend / mother.

The Bro Code Article # 65

A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drink(s) among Bros with the proviso that no existing wager supersedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.
Ahmed Madkor

The Bro Code Article # 29

A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro of an impending or ongoing girl fight.

Good day, and don't forget.

Be Awesome Instead.

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Posted at 08/26/2009 02:03 PM

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Blog Comments

Phorexia said at 08/26/2009 02:36 PM

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"...or temporarily immigrating to a foreign country."

lol

Plz Stop Now said at 08/26/2009 02:39 PM

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Sometimes you have to go the distance

Phorexia said at 08/26/2009 02:45 PM

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That's a bro for you right there.

Plz Stop Now said at 08/26/2009 02:48 PM

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Indeed so, a wingman needs a wingman, a bro needs a bro, and a girl with daddy issues needs two bros.

*Holds hand up in an anticipatory High Five gesture*

StandieMcStille said at 08/26/2009 02:35 PM

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PS- Is there some kinfa link to these, codes?

StandieMcStille said at 08/26/2009 02:30 PM

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Dude the scale is so true.
And nice tips.

Plz Stop Now said at 08/26/2009 02:40 PM

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All Bro's live by this code.

StandieMcStille said at 08/26/2009 02:45 PM

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I know, i am wondering about additions to the code or alterations, so i would like to bone up on the rules sir.

Plz Stop Now said at 08/26/2009 02:46 PM

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There's an Audio tape of the code read by Barney Stinson (Neal Patrick Harris.)
You can most likely download it off a torrent website, but it is worth the buy.

StandieMcStille said at 08/26/2009 02:51 PM

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LOL nice. I shall take a gander.

dictatrix said at 08/26/2009 02:30 PM

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Bro code..#89...lmfao.

Aaah..animal print clothing.

Plz Stop Now said at 08/26/2009 02:40 PM

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Well, if an older woman is attempting to appear as a leopard.
It means only one thing.
Hungry Cougar.

dictatrix said at 08/26/2009 02:41 PM

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Or...a puma. xD The not so old Cougars..

Plz Stop Now said at 08/26/2009 02:43 PM

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This is a new finding when I refer to my studies.
Where are these magnificent beasts located?
I must find one and hunt it.

dictatrix said at 08/26/2009 02:47 PM

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C o u g a r :

The largest North American cat, top of the food chain with Grizzly Bears, carnivorous solitary hunter, aka Mountain Lion, Puma.
Also describes women in their forties who smoke, drink and go to clubs to pick up young men in their twenties. Cougars are usually divorced, sometimes with cubs, and financially independent.

The most successful cougars are those that married well and got huge divorce settlements. Lesser Cougars were feminists who clawed their way to the top and made their own money. They have charge cards and big bank accounts, often living off second mortgages and money lending. They own cars but use them sparingly because of their concern for the environment.

Species characteristics include a penchant for home decorating, an interest in dogs (the only other species they can live with), an avid consumption of home products such as tinfoil and Cheez Whiz, and a limited interest in technology.

They have a high fat diet but are usually in shape because of sheer genetics and extensive shopping, dinner party planning and traveling. They often wear clothes that they're a bit too old for such as Spandex and high heels. They dye their hair and wear lots of makeup and jewelry.

Cougars-in-training (ie. women in their thirties) are called "pumas". Women in their twenties are "cougar cubs".

Plz Stop Now said at 08/26/2009 02:51 PM

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Oh how enlightening, and wonderfully dirty.