"When I get Sad, I stop being sad and be Awesome Instead. True Story"
For you here today, we have the hot/crazy scale, also various articles of the bro code.
For the hot/crazy scale, I will give a brief introduction to this awesome science.
The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis. Luckily for us, a chart exists where we can see just how out of balance the ratio between your hotness and craziness has become - knowledge that can prove to be invaluable over the course of your daily life.
The Bro Code Article # 1
Thou shalt not sleep with your Bro's Ex-Girlfriend.
The Bro Code Article # 87
A Bro shalt at all times say Yes.
IE: "Well, I did save him and his dog from a burning building in 2005 we are so lucky to make it out alive" - Bro # 1
"Is this true!?" - Girl with daddy issues
"Yes" - Bro # 2
The Bro Code Article # 89
Mom of a Bro is always off limits, but a Stepmom is fair game if she initiates it or is wearing at least one piece of leopard print.
The Bro Code Article # 34
Thou shalt not make make eye contact during a Devil’s Three-way
The Bro Code Article # 53
A Bro shall, whenever possible, provide his Bro with protection.
The Bro Code Article # 68
If a Bro is on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possibly to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or temporarily immigrating to a foreign country.
The Bro Code Article # 67
Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.
The Bro Code Article # 66
If a Bro suffers pain from a permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a “that sucks, man” and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.
The Bro Code Article # 63
In a scenario in which two or more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity, including but not limited to; the high five, the first bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.
The Bro Code Article # 62
In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet broshambo shall determine the outcome.
The Bro Code Article # 60
Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girl’s wildly unattractive cousin / friend / mother.
The Bro Code Article # 65
A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drink(s) among Bros with the proviso that no existing wager supersedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.
The Bro Code Article # 29
A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro of an impending or ongoing girl fight.
Good day, and don't forget.
Be Awesome Instead.