   I don't know why I continue to write these "blogs", I guess it's just something to do while time slowly slips me by. Being who I am, as laid back and relaxed as I am, my life has absolutely no drama. Which is not really a bad thing, but I can't help but wonder why I have it so easy and everybody else around me has problem upon problem.
   First off, my best friend is pregnant, or could be pregnant. She's old enough, infact, she already has a 11year old boy. So not really a problem as to not being able to cope with his/her upbringing, but more of a surprise that it's happened. She's been with her man for near enough two years, or was, with her man for near enough to years until they broke up not long ago after so many issues between them. He generally is a nice guy, easy to get along with, everybody likes him. And at first he was a great guy, treated her well, cooked and all that. Then he started playing mind games, saying things to her, hinting, putting thoughts in her head and making her paranoid. Nobody else saw it, but I did, and I told her I did. She confides in me about everything and tells me everything that goes on between them, even now. She's had contraception all along, and not once had an issue, no scares or anything like that. They split up a couple of months ago, and the games continued, he told her he loves her and will never want anyone else, but was effectively bringing her in with one arm, and pushing her away with the other. And then not long ago, she starts getting symptoms, sickness, and everything else like that.
   She's just waiting to phone the doctors to get her results, to know for sure whether or not she is pregnant or whether or not there are other issues which could be making her the way she is. I personally can't see her to be pregnant, it's probably all the stress from things going on around her, a family member recently died and it hit her and most of her family hard.
   And then there is my girlfriend, she's having her own fair share of family issues. I'm not really sure of what it is, but I suspect her father is the problem. I try to help where I can, but the only thing I can do is let her stay with me until either she feels like going back home or until she finds another solution. Unfortunately, she can't stay with me until Sunday as I am not at home until then. Which makes me feel selfish as I can't really do anything more to get her out of the situation she's in.

   I try to help as many people as I can, Im the type of person to go out of my way to makes someone elses life easier. I feel bad when I can't do anything to help out when my friends and family need it. I'm not sure why I feel so inclined to help. It could be a completely selfless act, I never ever ask for anything in return and never accept gifts or rewards, and I hate being praised for being nice. On the other hand, I sometimes think I may have an ulterior motive, sub-conciously doing things to help, so that one day, I'd get help when I need it. I don't know, if I find myself sitting in a room, in complete silence, my mind runs wild. I try to look behind my attitude, why I do this and why I do that. Why I react the way I do, or why I don't react.
   God is another thing. I don't believe in him, I never have. But sometimes I'll think something, and it could just be something that I wouldn't say outloud, or think was an insensitive comment. And then I'll convince myself that I don't really think that or that I was just joking, not speaking outloud, but just in my head. Possibly looking for some kind of redemption, or something along those lines. Just on the off chance that there could be a god. I don't know, it's complicated. i dont' even know why I think how I do.

   I was thinking today, I need a bigger TV to play my games on. It's not like i'm playing on a small TV, but still, I want something better, 50" is what I've got my sites set on. I don't know about how y'all play your games, but I consider that size to be massive. It's either that or I'm just going to get a projector to attach to my ceiling, connect to my Xbox and use that. I'm not sure which would be better, does a projector have the same screen definition that a normal TV would? does it get blurred the more your away from the surface area? I dont' want to put my money into something that could indeed fail to give me a better experience.
   I downloaded the demo to Ace Combat 6 last night, tried it this morning and love it. I can't wait for the game to come out. I just hope that there is a multiplayer mode on Live. If not then I'll have to find some other ariel combat game to play. I also like Dead Rising. I did try Command and Conquer 3 but it's not my kind of game, I dont' think it's really suited to a console. Though, on the demo you do get to play across Xbox Live. The other person was good and my increasing frustration with the controls got the better of me and I just quit.
   I've mostly been playing Rainbox Six Vegas, Team Survival. There is a lot more strategy involved in it, especially if you play on a team that talks to each other more than the odd-word. Sharpshooter is more of a rush-in kind of game, and I've found that it can result in two players dominating the map by camping and killing as we spawn. I did try Gears of War a little, but I don't think it's for me. Being a rookie and everyone else on there having at least a little experience behind them is like taking on an army on your own. I'll give it another try before I abandon the game altogether.

   I still haven't got around to starting my intro pages. It seems like a mountain for me to climb, and frankly, I just dont' have the energy or the patients to start or continue with it. My main picture is getting old too, I keep forgetting to get a newer picture from my PC to put on my laptop. It's starting to annoy me now too, I don't even wear my jerseys anymore. Blah!.
   Okay, I'm done going on and on about nothing

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Posted at 07/27/2007 06:54 AM

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BATMAN GOTHAM said at 07/27/2007 12:00 AM

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50"inches is massive. I would go for that option. Personally I wouldn't go for the projector. There is no way that could be better then a tv at least I don't think so.

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