hi anfone, i remember your aunt well. i know that the disorder she's got will only get worse as she gets older. i'm also sure that the reason you get it the worse is because you make her feel the most. people in her condition can't always process that information well and when they have manic cycling rages take it out on the people they care for so much. in the end, it's better for you this way and deep down inside (maybe even on the surface) she knows it and doesn't know how to deal with it. i'm sure she knows she has to let you go and live your own life. letting go is really painful. i'm glad you changed your number though. the least amount of contact you have with your aunt for a while the better. if i were you i'd never move back in because if there's something i know very well, they tend to change their minds...they tend to like their crutches and they tend to use those crutches until they run them into the ground with guilt. best thing you can do is limit your interaction as much as possible. in other words, keep yourself VERY busy with work, go out more often with your friends and stay as scarce as you possibly can. sometimes it feels lonely because my family is all i have in los angeles, but you know what? i have a husband and cats...lol and lonely (from family) is better than depressed or suicidal because of other people's problems. you're a really great guy even though you might not feel like a great guy. so make sure you feel good about yourself. i know you already know all this, but i also know we don't always feel so great about ourselves and people like that certainly don't help. stay happy, healthy and distant...though not from us! :) love ~ maha ps: if you have a cell phone you should try utterli.com, you can connect it to your blog while your away and still keep your friends posted. try to stay in touch. bye! :)