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AnFonE's Blogs

Driving Me Crazy
   What I'm dealing with right now with this whole "ex-thing" is driving me crazy. It's getting to the point where I've tried everything to make clear exactly what is going on and how I feel about the situation. It turned out the other day there was this other guy she was interested in. That was a good thing, I was hoping she'd like him enough to drop this whole "not letting me go" thing. It looked as if my prayers would be answered until I mentioned him and made a slightly humerous comment about how she didn't tell me about liking him (I know, wasn't the time or place, but hey, that's just me). So now, not only does she not like the guy at all, love me to death and have a serious trust problem with her friend who told me in the first place, but is trying to get me to talk to her more and more. Her friend asked me tonight to deal with it once and for all because she was getting a hell of a lot of crap for it, and my ex was always moping.. so I did.
   Up until now I was trying everything but being mean about it. The whole, "It's not you it's me" thing didn't take too well, even though that's the truth, the "I don't want to be with anyone" thing didn't work and pretty much everything else I said didn't help. I don't like being mean about things, I had already felt bad about hurting her, which subsided once I realised that she was taking this crap FAR too seriously, but never-the-less I didn't want to be mean about it if I didn't have too. But I'd tried everything else and went to this as my last resort. I told her I didn't want to be with her, didn't love her, and didn't want to talk to her, hear from her or see her again. I told her I would never think about her again and did not care about her. I told I didn't care about what she did, who she got in a relationship with and that me and her would NEVER have a chance of being together for as long as I lived. All of which is the truth. Then the inevitable "I love you and there will never be anyone else" thing I get so often when I try to make things clear to her. I really had enough though, so I became persistant, told her I was cancelling my contract on my phone, changing my number, and would never speak to her again and if I saw her, I'd blank her and walk right passed like she wasn't there. Needless to say she didn't take it well but I think she got the idea.
   Really, all I got to do is be persistant about this, ignore the late-night texts about her loving me and me being the only one and eventually, and I dont' care what she says, she WILL get over it and WILL move on with her life and leave me the hell alone. I don't even understand what turned her like this, we didn't do anything all that special when we were together, hung out and generally took life easy, so how the hell she can say there won't be anyone else is beyond me. My mentality about the whole thing is ignore it, time heals all wounds and this is no exception, she's just got to learn to let go of things, if she doesn't, she's gonna have one hell of a life full of pain and sadness.

   Aside from that, well.. even with that, things are going pretty damn great. Still living without problems, taking life slowly and as it comes to me. The way I see it, later in life I'm gonna be in situations where things are going to be hard, money is tight, people in my life dying or leaving, relationship problems (Definitely) and lots of other things. So for now, while everything is going my way, I'm not going to rush it. I've got all my time to myself, and i'm not gonna give that up when I don't need too. I'll worry about what I need to do in the future, in the future.

That's pretty much it

AnFonE
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Posted at 10/01/2007 06:41 PM Leave Comment    View Comments (2)
Blog Comments
WcT Huey
WcT Huey said at 10/02/2007 12:00 AM Reply to this Comment
I liked your last paragraph, that way of living worked just perfectly for me for a long time.


Phorexia
Phorexia said at 10/01/2007 12:00 AM Reply to this Comment
Maybe this time she'll drop it. You'd think she'd get the hint after a while and move on.





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