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AnFonE's Blogs
Baaaaaaaack
Money problems have to be one of the worst things to come across in day to day life. Generally speaking, it's something that usually has a hard to find solution. It causes panic and worry and an unsurity of what's gonna happen. Personally speaking, I've been pretty fortunate. I've never, as of yet anyway, come up against bills that I haven't had the means to pay, I haven't owed money or found myself in need of money urgently.
But a few of the closest people to me, at one time or another, have found themselves in this situation. The most recent being a few days ago. There is nothing worse than hearing a friend tell you that they're got crap to pay that they can't afford, I'm talking, last demand, you'll be disconnected, things like that, and I'm not talking Sky, Cable or Phone. I always find myself in the position of problem solver, come up with an idea to help ease the problem and things to that nature. But basically, the only solution was to pay the bill before the due date or face the consequences.
I can't sit there and talk to someone about money, knowing I could lend them what I had (Leaving myself without the funds for what I was to pay) without offering. It's like an automated response, I feel the need to help them, and it's so overpowering that I usually offer without thinking about what it'll mean for me. As such, I left myself with a bill I can't afford to pay, which in turn caused me to worry about what I was going to do.
I've sorted it out now, but that doesn't solve the problem that I'm out of pocket for someone elses mistake. I was aware of the circumstances from the start and I won't go into that now, but it does concern me to know that some people are reckless when it comes to handling money and paying bills. It's like a "Live for the moment" mentality, or at least a "I'll deal with that when it comes to me" thing. Although I know the person in question will pay me back as soon as they can, it still leaves me feeling guilty when taking it. I hate the thought of taking money from someone who can't afford to give it away, even if it was owed to me. It's a crap thing to deal with and it's not even my fault...
What else? Oh yeah, I've come to find that when you love someone there is nothing you won't put up with, literally. It's weird, again, not speaking personally, but from the perspective of a friend. You're with someone, you put up that front, that wall, to make sure you don't fall for them, yet after time it seems like you've done just that, no matter how hard you tried not to. So now you're pretty deep into a relationship with a guy you think is perfect, and then for some reason or another, things change. He starts becoming manipulative, changing behind closed doors, yet to the world, still appearing to be the same guy. He messes with your head, causes you immense amounts of pain and doesn't seem to give a damn about you. Yet you still go back to him. You have an arguement, he finishes the relationship and doesn't contact you for days. You're sat at home, crying your eyes out, nothing you can do, and then he's back again, like nothings happened, and acting like you overreacted.
This goes on for well over a year, the same thing over and over again. It became so like a pattern that I actually predicted exactly what was going to happen well before it did. 100% accurate at that too. But yet you still don't learn your lesson. Well at least until you split up once again, only this time he finds someone else... Now, you're sure he's fraud, you see it clearly, you understand the situation, you hate his guts and you never want to be in the same room with him again, you sit there and cry for a week straight before you start trying to get over it. Obviously no easy task, no overnight job, but still, you try and it looks like you're going to get there eventually. UNTIL... it comes around that he split with the woman in question, and POW! Before you can say anything, she's back where she began.
It really beggars belief sometimes, I can't understand how people put up with half the crap they do. And it amazes me even more how many people are willing to put themselves through hell to be with someone who doesn't particularily make them happy, all in the name of "love". I never really got how deep some people get into their relationships and how mind games could hurt someone so much, to the point where they seem blind to the truth.
Anyway, let's see. Anthony... Anthony, well he is doing well, I guess that's the best one could hope for. Everything is going good, slowly as usual, but good. I find myself spending time with my niece, sleeping, discussing other's problems or on Live. Though not the latter all that much lately. There's not really much to say actually. I consider that a good thing, so yeah, leave that as is.
I got Rainbow Six Vegas 2 on Wednesday morning. Played it for a hour or so and loved it. Wasn't a fan of the first, but the game has definitely improved somewhat. Other people don't seem to notice, but I can kill people, so you know the game has got better. The bullets seem to go where you want them to and the sprint button, HELL YEAH. If there was one thing I hated about Vegas, it'd be that you couldn't run very fast, the bullets didn't go straight, guns were hella inaccurate with scopes, snipers were useless, people seemed to be bullet-proof, laggy as hell, terrorist hunt was worthless, the ranking system was a shambles and the game was bland as hell. But that one thing has been rectified with the addition of the RUN button. It always annoyed me, the games are suppsed to be realistic, so why didn't they ever run? I know for a fact if someone was shooting at me, all you'd see was the dust I'd kicked up from moving so fast. The rainbow guys used to just stroll, regardless, like it didn't phase them. Now this underlines to problems for me, ONE, what kind of idiot doesn't run when you're getting shot up? And TWO why the hell was it so hard to kill people when they were just cruising along the corridor without a care in the world? Seriously, I don't know how many times on the original game I shot someone trying to make a "Dash" for cover, only to find that they're impervious(?) to ammunition.
Anyway, back to the point, Rainbow 2 makes this a hell of a lot better, the bullets go relatively straight, the games a little faster and Terrorist Hunt is fun as hell to do now that you get something from it. I'm doing pretty good at the game online in general too, my last game was 26 and 5deaths, and that coming from Rainbow Vegas 1, when I used to average about 3kills and 15+deaths. Proud of myself? You bet. The was one downside to playing Vegas 2 though, when I finally went back to play COD for a while today, I found myself at a loss with the controls, I couldn't remember what I was doing and the speed of aiming was awkward. I think I ended up grenading my own team and myself several times, missing easy kills and generally making myself known as Cannon Fodder... Wasn't fun in the slightest.
Okay, so there we have it, all I wanted to put down for, and now I'm done. I hope all is well, and people, we need to play sometime, I know I haven't really played much online with a lot of y'all, and I'm sorry about that, there's really not an excuse for it, mind has just been elsewhere I guess.
Again, hope everyone is doing good and that y'all have had a nice day/week/month. I shall see you online soon.
Stay Good
Anthony.
But a few of the closest people to me, at one time or another, have found themselves in this situation. The most recent being a few days ago. There is nothing worse than hearing a friend tell you that they're got crap to pay that they can't afford, I'm talking, last demand, you'll be disconnected, things like that, and I'm not talking Sky, Cable or Phone. I always find myself in the position of problem solver, come up with an idea to help ease the problem and things to that nature. But basically, the only solution was to pay the bill before the due date or face the consequences.
I can't sit there and talk to someone about money, knowing I could lend them what I had (Leaving myself without the funds for what I was to pay) without offering. It's like an automated response, I feel the need to help them, and it's so overpowering that I usually offer without thinking about what it'll mean for me. As such, I left myself with a bill I can't afford to pay, which in turn caused me to worry about what I was going to do.
I've sorted it out now, but that doesn't solve the problem that I'm out of pocket for someone elses mistake. I was aware of the circumstances from the start and I won't go into that now, but it does concern me to know that some people are reckless when it comes to handling money and paying bills. It's like a "Live for the moment" mentality, or at least a "I'll deal with that when it comes to me" thing. Although I know the person in question will pay me back as soon as they can, it still leaves me feeling guilty when taking it. I hate the thought of taking money from someone who can't afford to give it away, even if it was owed to me. It's a crap thing to deal with and it's not even my fault...
What else? Oh yeah, I've come to find that when you love someone there is nothing you won't put up with, literally. It's weird, again, not speaking personally, but from the perspective of a friend. You're with someone, you put up that front, that wall, to make sure you don't fall for them, yet after time it seems like you've done just that, no matter how hard you tried not to. So now you're pretty deep into a relationship with a guy you think is perfect, and then for some reason or another, things change. He starts becoming manipulative, changing behind closed doors, yet to the world, still appearing to be the same guy. He messes with your head, causes you immense amounts of pain and doesn't seem to give a damn about you. Yet you still go back to him. You have an arguement, he finishes the relationship and doesn't contact you for days. You're sat at home, crying your eyes out, nothing you can do, and then he's back again, like nothings happened, and acting like you overreacted.
This goes on for well over a year, the same thing over and over again. It became so like a pattern that I actually predicted exactly what was going to happen well before it did. 100% accurate at that too. But yet you still don't learn your lesson. Well at least until you split up once again, only this time he finds someone else... Now, you're sure he's fraud, you see it clearly, you understand the situation, you hate his guts and you never want to be in the same room with him again, you sit there and cry for a week straight before you start trying to get over it. Obviously no easy task, no overnight job, but still, you try and it looks like you're going to get there eventually. UNTIL... it comes around that he split with the woman in question, and POW! Before you can say anything, she's back where she began.
It really beggars belief sometimes, I can't understand how people put up with half the crap they do. And it amazes me even more how many people are willing to put themselves through hell to be with someone who doesn't particularily make them happy, all in the name of "love". I never really got how deep some people get into their relationships and how mind games could hurt someone so much, to the point where they seem blind to the truth.
Anyway, let's see. Anthony... Anthony, well he is doing well, I guess that's the best one could hope for. Everything is going good, slowly as usual, but good. I find myself spending time with my niece, sleeping, discussing other's problems or on Live. Though not the latter all that much lately. There's not really much to say actually. I consider that a good thing, so yeah, leave that as is.
I got Rainbow Six Vegas 2 on Wednesday morning. Played it for a hour or so and loved it. Wasn't a fan of the first, but the game has definitely improved somewhat. Other people don't seem to notice, but I can kill people, so you know the game has got better. The bullets seem to go where you want them to and the sprint button, HELL YEAH. If there was one thing I hated about Vegas, it'd be that you couldn't run very fast, the bullets didn't go straight, guns were hella inaccurate with scopes, snipers were useless, people seemed to be bullet-proof, laggy as hell, terrorist hunt was worthless, the ranking system was a shambles and the game was bland as hell. But that one thing has been rectified with the addition of the RUN button. It always annoyed me, the games are suppsed to be realistic, so why didn't they ever run? I know for a fact if someone was shooting at me, all you'd see was the dust I'd kicked up from moving so fast. The rainbow guys used to just stroll, regardless, like it didn't phase them. Now this underlines to problems for me, ONE, what kind of idiot doesn't run when you're getting shot up? And TWO why the hell was it so hard to kill people when they were just cruising along the corridor without a care in the world? Seriously, I don't know how many times on the original game I shot someone trying to make a "Dash" for cover, only to find that they're impervious(?) to ammunition.
Anyway, back to the point, Rainbow 2 makes this a hell of a lot better, the bullets go relatively straight, the games a little faster and Terrorist Hunt is fun as hell to do now that you get something from it. I'm doing pretty good at the game online in general too, my last game was 26 and 5deaths, and that coming from Rainbow Vegas 1, when I used to average about 3kills and 15+deaths. Proud of myself? You bet. The was one downside to playing Vegas 2 though, when I finally went back to play COD for a while today, I found myself at a loss with the controls, I couldn't remember what I was doing and the speed of aiming was awkward. I think I ended up grenading my own team and myself several times, missing easy kills and generally making myself known as Cannon Fodder... Wasn't fun in the slightest.
Okay, so there we have it, all I wanted to put down for, and now I'm done. I hope all is well, and people, we need to play sometime, I know I haven't really played much online with a lot of y'all, and I'm sorry about that, there's really not an excuse for it, mind has just been elsewhere I guess.
Again, hope everyone is doing good and that y'all have had a nice day/week/month. I shall see you online soon.
Stay Good
Anthony.
| Posted at 03/21/2008 05:23 PM | Leave Comment View Comments (4) |
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