I spent this afternoon at the arcades playing Outrun. other games and Pool. I love the Outrun game, being able to play against over people, and my sis is addicted to it too, so it's all good. I ended up spending £70 in less than 3hours, which is alot for just messing around on games. But it's all good, it was fun no doubt. I had nine games in a row won, until something crashed the machines and it all went down. After that I couldn't get back into it and lost the rest of the games.
Playing pool was embarrassing, especially when I tried to take a shot and hit the cue ball by accident, or when I flicked it off the table. You could see the people watching with a grin on their face whenever I messed up, but they didn't say anything. I make no secret of the fact that I suck at pool, I've never been good at it. The other games were cool, but really just a filler whilst we were waiting for the outrun to sort itself out.
My ex-has been texting me, calling me constantly since yesterday. Trying to make things right, trying to find out what the problem was in the first place. I feel really bad about it, especially as there wasn't a reason as to why I don't want to be with her. She's upset about it, but i'm confident she'll get over it eventually, even if she's not convinced. I don't like how the word Love is thrown around, people say it alot, they get in a relationship and convince themselves that it's love, until they split and then it was just a mirage. I don't like to say it, because I know that if I do and it turns out it wasn't, then it looks like I've been lying... and I don't like that.
I've no idea what love is, I suspect I won't ever know. How do you compare it? What if I love someone, and then end up loving someone else more? Is love the most you can feel for someone? and if so, what is it when you think you love someone and then fall for someone else? I think people are pressured into saying they love someone. Not to be funny, but it's usually the female that will say it first, and expect their boyfriend to say it back to them. But maybe they don't feel the same, and just dont' want to hurt them, which in the long run ends up hurting them when things get ended.
I've never craved a companion, the relationships I have been in have been long lasting ones and the gaps between them have been just as long. I don't mind though, I've never felt lonely or wanted to be with someone. I thought I loved my ex, a long time ago, but it didn't really work out that way and we ended up splitting up, but it was mutual and we both realised we didn't actually love each other.
Love is an added bonus to being in a happy relationship. I'm not after anything or anyone just yet, I just want to be happy and comfortable with someone who can understand me, how I am, why i do what I do and someone who will do their best to make the relationship work.
For now, there is only one person I know I love is my baby niece. Since the day she was born she's been number 1 to me. I know I love her because I would do anything for her, unconditionally and I can't spend enough time with her, she never gets boring. It's hard to explain. Bah, I sound soppy :|
Embarrassing moment? god there have been so many... I tend to walk into things, and walk crooked and fall over myself, numerous times I've walked into doors, lamp posts, hell I've even walked into a moving car. Always look left and right before stepping out into the road. The time I stepped infront of a car and got knocked over was embarrassing, I didn't get hurt and it was totally my fault but getting up and realising a few people saw it wasn't cool. Get up, look around, walk away and try to play it cool is the way to go :D
Infact, I almost got ran over today, not my fault. A woman came speeding up the hill and nearly ran over my foot. :|
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