I know you're probably just going to read this then delete it, or maybe not read it at all.. so I don't know why I'm bothering, but then again, I always do crap anyway.
Anyway, I've just been thinking alot this weekend.. that i really miss you, well I always do but I just thought I have to do something, I hate not being with you or talking to you. I could sit and tell you how it still hurts, i still love you, i still miss you.. but you aren't interested in that.. and i know thats not going to get you back. But i dont know what i can say to you.. and youre reading this saying, "there is nothing you can say" and thats how my reply will start if you did reply lol, predictable see? and now you'll deny that aswell lol
But you cant have just not meant a word you said to me.. I know you, and you aren't that cold. And as bad as you may like to think you are as a person.. I know you couldn't do that to somebody.. let me fall completely in love with you, trust you.. give you everything I have, without you feeling a thing.
I don't know why you stopped wanting me.. and I don't suppose you know 100% why either. But you always did get like that sometimes.. and maybe you meant it to be the real end this time because you dont want to keep hurting me, and think this way you wont be able to ever hurt me again.. but you KNOW i'd rather be with you.. because this hurts more than any occassional arguement ever could.. and i'd give anything to have you back..
and i wish you knew what you meant to me.. you really are everything.. and youre so perfect, funny, amazing.. even though you don't believe it, you really are, I've never met anyone like you, and I know i won't ever in the future either.
I still remember times when you made me laugh, and it'll just make me smile now and again, and times when you were there for me. Even before we were together, like when i didnt want to sleep because i was scared, and you'd stayed up all night to talk to me just because i didnt want to be alone, even though you had to get up early. I'll never regret a single second of our time together.. and I really hope you don't either.
I wish we could fix this.. I want to fix it, but I'm still waiting to see if you do too.
I still love you, Anthony.
Forever and Always, just like Always x
Oh, and i wanted to make this pink, but I didnt think you'd be able to see it, so count yourself lucky i changed it for you!