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AnFonE's Blogs

An E-mail I'mma share wit' you
   Tonight I'm not at home, so I haven't and won't be online at all until tomorrow afternoon at somepoint. i'm staying at a friends and since it's 2am and everyone is alseep I figured I'd continue my trend of writing a blog about things other than playing games. Okay, so a little background.
   I was with my ex for about 8months before I split up with abuot three months ago. I'd known her for about a year and half before we got together. There was no real reason for me splitting up with her bar the fact that I just didn't want to be with her no more. For the longest time she was trying to get me to talk to her and was basically getting annoyed with the fact that I woudln't say a word or reply to her texts. For a while now it's been pretty quiet though and I thought that she'd finally come to realise that it's just not going to happen. Last night I was texting her best friend who told me that she was still moping about and people were getting fed up with it. As I check my e-mail a moment ago, I see that I have recieved an e-mail from her which reads as follows...

 
I know you're probably just going to read this then delete it, or maybe not read it at all.. so I don't know why I'm bothering, but then again, I always do crap anyway.
Anyway, I've just been thinking alot this weekend.. that i really miss you, well I always do but I just thought I have to do something, I hate not being with you or talking to you. I could sit and tell you how it still hurts, i still love you, i still miss you.. but you aren't interested in that.. and i know thats not going to get you back. But i dont know what i can say to you.. and youre reading this saying, "there is nothing you can say" and thats how my reply will start if you did reply lol, predictable see? and now you'll deny that aswell lol
But you cant have just not meant a word you said to me.. I know you, and you aren't that cold. And as bad as you may like to think you are as a person.. I know you couldn't do that to somebody.. let me fall completely in love with you, trust you.. give you everything I have, without you feeling a thing.
I don't know why you stopped wanting me.. and I don't suppose you know 100% why either. But you  always did get like that sometimes.. and maybe you meant it to be the real end this time because you dont want to keep hurting me, and think this way you wont be able to ever hurt me again.. but you KNOW i'd rather be with you.. because this hurts more than any occassional arguement ever could.. and i'd give anything to have you back..
and i wish you knew what you meant to me.. you really are everything.. and youre so perfect, funny, amazing.. even though you don't believe it, you really are, I've never met anyone like you, and I know i won't ever in the future either.
I still remember times when you made me laugh, and it'll just make me smile now and again, and times when you were there for me. Even before we were together, like when i didnt want to sleep because i was scared, and you'd stayed up all night to talk to me just because i didnt want to be alone, even though you had to get up early. I'll never regret a single second of our time together.. and I really hope you don't either.
I wish we could fix this.. I want to fix it, but I'm still waiting to see if you do too.
I still love you, Anthony.
Forever and Always, just like Always x
 
Oh, and i wanted to make this pink, but I didnt think you'd be able to see it, so count yourself lucky i changed it for you!

   Still, after all this time she hasn't given up. It's kinda worrying to see that she is still hung up on me like this. It's things like this that make me want to avoid the female gender forever. Not that I'm going gay... I'm sure gay guys are just as bad... Either way I had nothing else to write about and this pretty much filled a gap in my relatively quiet night.
   Tomorrow I have an early morning and then Im free to play all afternoon and night, and hopefully I'll get to watch the next episode of Dexter tomorrow when I get home. It's begining to get interesting.
   Also, tomorrow I'll try and get some screenshots up. I haven't got any lined up right about now but it shouldn't take too much for me to find a great shot or two.

Have a nice day/night

AnFonE

P.S. I'm sorry about the rambling at the bottom there... ha.
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Posted at 11/04/2007 06:12 PM Leave Comment    View Comments (6)
Blog Comments
X Cookie 73 X
X Cookie 73 X said at 11/05/2007 12:00 AM Reply to this Comment
awe anthony -didnt u give her a reason for the split? she mustve been crazy in love. if u didnt give her a reason -i think u owe her that much and tell her for the last time u dont want to be bothered by her. i know it must be annoying to be pestered still. anyway good luck with it all. -no dont avoid us girls, lots can be friends,, n theres nothing wrong with being gay lol


Xx Wuch xX
Xx Wuch xX said at 11/05/2007 12:00 AM Reply to this Comment
We're in the same boat here bud. Just stay strong, if that's what you really want. Hopefully I'll be able to get some games in with you today.


NaiieLy
NaiieLy said at 11/05/2007 12:00 AM Reply to this Comment
yh I agree with cookie! I remember me being that girl..trying to fix things..blah!! shit stinks yo!! but must be a really good reason why you don't want her back..be straight up and tell her why so that she won't be wondering about it later!! boooo..lol :) ♥


BuckshotGeorge
BuckshotGeorge said at 11/05/2007 12:00 AM Reply to this Comment
whatever reason you had for breaking up with her in the first place is all you need. you don't need to justify it any further than you already have. there's nothing worse than that feeling for someone just going away. as there's nothing worse than breaking with a girl, and having no other reason but the fact that love isn't as strong anymore. unfortunately, she's still hung up on you. but that's for her to deal with. and women will always get over it, no matter how much they say they won't.


Phorexia
Phorexia said at 11/04/2007 12:00 AM Reply to this Comment
It's been a while, and she still won't accept things as they are.





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