Last night as I was wrapped up tightly in my quilt, listening to gale force winds hitting the window and howling loudly across the snow covered ground. I began thinking about those people who would literally do anything they could to help. Almost everyone would claim to know someone who would actually do anything in their power to help you, but how many people have really proved themselves over and over again? The way I see it, you either know someone you believe is that way, or you are that person.
Over the last few months, my life has changed drastically. Everything I had grown a custom to had been taken away from me. The stability I had was removed and I was left to face uncertainty myself. I'm a laid back guy, I just chill and hope for everything fall in to place. I've always thought that worrying would just hinder me, mentally and physically, so I avoid it. It could be the very reason I have difficulty sleeping at night. Constantly waking up thinking things are happening that really aren't. For example, last night I woke up believing the wind was so strong that it was entirely possible it would blow over my PC monitor. By the time I realised I was crazy, I had got up, cleared the desk and turned the monitor against the tower or the PC in order to stop it blowing over, and then got back into bed.
This is something I deal with every night, something I can't control as is deeply influenced by my subconcious. I blame the sudden uphevel and the fact I'm not sleeping in my own bed for it. For now, there's nothing I can do. Anyway, back to the point. When I was able to do things for other people, I don't believe in Karma, but I have always thought that good deeds are rewarded in time, and those you help without selfish reasons in mind, will remember and offer support to you, when you need it.
That sounds almost like a contradiction, selfless reasons - but to ultimately have people to help you. But that's not the case. I never did anything to help someone for my own gains. I honestly didn't think I'd ever be in a position to need help. I guess the theory behind it was, help people and they're willing to help you, or don't and watch people try hinder you.
Again, back to the point. Recently, someone I've known for a long long time, saw that some things were beginning to get to me. Nothing serious, just small things that I was missing, things I could no longer accomplish because of my situation and status. And even though I'd never actually done anything substantial for this person, they still thought enough of me to reach out and help me when things weren't in my grasp. Although it wasn't neccesarily an urgency, they still went out of their way to do this for me.
I can't say what exactly, it's not my place to broadcast such things. But it does give me a little more faith in the attitudes of people in general. The point of this (the third time I've gone off topic) is to remind people that there are still good people out there, who aren't out to gain anything by doing good deeds. I just think these people should be appreciated to the highest regards, and again, if you don't know a person like this, it's probably you. You people are what it's all about.
Man, I had alot of time to think about what I was going to write, but it never does come off the way I want it to. Still, I've said my piece. So onto something else. My sister is due at the end of December, beginning of January, which is a month out of their due date they first came up with. It's my job to pick the middle name of my new baby niece. I haven't really been thinking about it, but I think I have a name in mind, but I won't say just yet incase my sister doesn't approve, not that she's any good with names.. Seriously.
The weather is crazy, the winds last night are the strongest I've ever heard, the snow was falling heavily again, but a brief stint of rain and the whole thing has turned to slush, which sucks because I wanted to go out in the garden with Skye and make her first snowman. Who doesn't love the snow? Seriously? Seasonal weather is a welcome treat, for the last few years it's not snowed properly in winter. Instead it was usually around January, Feb. A white Christmas might restore some of that magic that Holiday has for children. It doesn't feel or look right without it.
I finally got fed up with Windows XP, I thought Vista was horrible, so decided to switch to Ubuntu. A great OS. I can't believe I've gone so long without trying this, I had to partion my harddrive because my family prefer Windows, but I definitely prefer it. It's faster, smoother and works alot better than XP. It can be difficult to install things that aren't packaged with an installer, but half the fun is messing around with your new toy, is it not?
Quickly, onto the topic? I can lose my temper quick with people I know properly, but I'm even quicker to calm down. I'm never worked up long enough to be angry at someone to plot revenge or carry it out. It's not part of my character to be so hateful. I prefer to chill, and just roll with the punches. Nobody is getting me angry enough to want to humiliate another person or make them pay. I also wouldn't put myself in a position to allow someone to get at me. I'm not hurting you, and you're not hurting me. fact. Hate is a self-destructive force.
Okay, I'm done now.
Have a nice day, stay good
Catch y'all soon.